He passed yesterday. The kind of passing that a massive heart attack causes… the kind in which you don’t get to say goodbye, don’t get one more “I love you,” or that last Vegas trip… the kind that makes me want to chain my sister and brother to myself to protect them and save myself from the kind of heartache that my Dad is feeling from losing his brother too soon.
Just as hard as it is to lose someone, the pain of knowing that I’m thousands of miles away and am not with my family is equally as heart wrenching. Having being blessed to never experience loss in this form, the physical pain of walking around, literally feeling like there is a hole in my heart is a foreign feeling. The only sense of solace I find is my faith in God and knowing that this experience is not unique, rather one that people go through… and make it through.
All of me wants to curl up in a ball and hide under the covers, however, the recurring thought I have is to fight pain with kindness, with aloha. For some reason, the word “kindness” and its affiliate words keep presenting itself. I concluded that it’s to remind me that at some time or another, we (as “Hawaiians” living on the mainland) will have our loved ones at home, in Hawaii, pass. It’s a heartache that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. We really need to take care of one another and be kind to one another. It becomes blatantly obvious when something like this happens that you are not with family and the only ohana you have are the other people from Hawaii who quite possibly went through the same loss.
I miss my tenacious Uncle, whose tenacity was often displayed on the blackjack table, where he could sit for hours. I respect him for being an older brother to my father, teaching him as only older brothers do… and I thank him for loving us, for that is one thing I know for sure he did.
I’m Teri! I decided to start a blog to focus on the GOOD, the aloha, that is here in Vegas to help me fully embrace that this really IS my new home... I am transPLANTED from Hawaii and now PLANTed in Vegas, placing my roots down here.
So sorry for your loss Ter. love u.